Are you asking for permission or are you asking for support?
Are you asking for permission or are you asking for support?
When you have a hunger for self-improvement and feel the pull to do something big for yourself, you can already start to envision bringing your best self forward, accomplishing your goals and feeling happily connected to who you are.
You have the best intentions, and you feel excited, so itโs a hell yes to doing it.
Then โฆ you suddenly realise, that in order to do this, itโs going to take a financial commitment and likely a decision that involves someone or something else (eg: your partner, parent, family)
You start negotiating (in your head) with the things you truly care about, because it will create emotions that will feel uncomfortable โฆ to keep you safe or avoid something
Thatโs because:
You probably weren't taught to put yourself first
You probably werenโt taught to have a personal development fund where you got to choose how and when to invest in yourself
You probably werenโt taught that you were capable or trusted to make decisions that are right for you OR to follow you heart and take risks
You probably werenโt taught that negotiating with the things that are important to you is NOT how you want to live your life.
๐๐ก๐๐ง ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ง๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ฌ๐ค ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง, ๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐๐๐ซ ๐๐ฌ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ๐ซ๐ญ ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐๐.
Why?
Because there is a big difference when it comes to how you communicate what it is you want and need AND, you want to be in control and not hand over your control to someone else.
Let me explain ...
When I wanted to invest $10,000 USD to work with a Coach for 3 months, I said to my husband that I was feeling stuck. I said I had gone as far as I could on my own and I am wanting to invest in extra support so that I could fast track my progress. Do I have your support?
(๐๐ ๐๐๐กโ ๐๐๐๐ค ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐๐โ๐ก โ๐๐ฃ๐ $10,000 ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐ก ๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐๐โ๐ก โ๐๐ฃ๐ $10,000 ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐ )
You know what he said. "Iโve got you" and, that same day he applied for a loan. Now I know that this response is probably highly unusual and your probably thinking "oh if only it were that easy) ...
๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ข๐ ๐ ๐ก๐๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ข๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐๐:
โI know we donโt have the money but I really want to invest in a Coach because I think it will help me. (eeek .. itโs $10,000 though.) Itโs sooo much money and I know we have other things we have to pay off and other things that we are saving for, so โฆ. I probably shouldnโt but, what do you think?
Can you see how differently this feels and, how differently the response could have been?
Luckily for me though, we value investing in our personal growth
And
Negotiating with what is important to us is not how we want to be living our life. That only leads to resentment and feeling unfulfilled.
So, the next time you feel the pull to do something big for yourself because you know it will help you to improve and evolve, I want you to consider this message.
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