Are you asking for permission or are you asking for support?

Are you asking for permission or are you asking for support?

 

When you have a hunger for self-improvement and feel the pull to do something big for yourself, you can already start to envision bringing your best self forward, accomplishing your goals and feeling happily connected to who you are.

 

You have the best intentions, and you feel excited, so it’s a hell yes to doing it.

 

Then … you suddenly realise, that in order to do this, it’s going to take a financial commitment and likely a decision that involves someone or something else (eg: your partner, parent, family)

 

You start negotiating (in your head) with the things you truly care about, because it will create emotions that will feel uncomfortable … to keep you safe or avoid something

 

That’s because:

 

You probably weren't taught to put yourself first

 

You probably weren’t taught to have a personal development fund where you got to choose how and when to invest in yourself

 

You probably weren’t taught that you were capable or trusted to make decisions that are right for you OR to follow you heart and take risks

 

You probably weren’t taught that negotiating with the things that are important to you is NOT how you want to live your life.

 

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝.

 

Why?

 

Because there is a big difference when it comes to how you communicate what it is you want and need AND, you want to be in control and not hand over your control to someone else.

 

Let me explain ...

 

When I wanted to invest $10,000 USD to work with a Coach for 3 months, I said to my husband that I was feeling stuck. I said I had gone as far as I could on my own and I am wanting to invest in extra support so that I could fast track my progress. Do I have your support?

(𝑊𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑡ℎ 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 $10,000 𝑖𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 $10,000 𝑜𝑛 𝑎 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑑 )

 

You know what he said. "I’ve got you" and, that same day he applied for a loan. Now I know that this response is probably highly unusual and your probably thinking "oh if only it were that easy) ...

 

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝:

 

“I know we don’t have the money but I really want to invest in a Coach because I think it will help me. (eeek .. it’s $10,000 though.) It’s sooo much money and I know we have other things we have to pay off and other things that we are saving for, so …. I probably shouldn’t but, what do you think?

 

Can you see how differently this feels and, how differently the response could have been?

 

Luckily for me though, we value investing in our personal growth

 

And

 

Negotiating with what is important to us is not how we want to be living our life. That only leads to resentment and feeling unfulfilled.

 

So, the next time you feel the pull to do something big for yourself because you know it will help you to improve and evolve, I want you to consider this message.

 

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